I have joked at different times that I think Diane is much nicer now then she was when she was normal as we knew her. Just this morning as I was writing this post I got up and checked on her in the bathroom. She asked me why I was being so nice, and I told her that I wanted her to have a really nice and enjoyable day. She looked at me and said you don't need to be nice to me, I want to be bad and nasty. When I asked her why? she said I hate this situation I'm in and I want to know why.
I know every circumstance is different and my Heart goes out to those that are responsible for some one that is so hard to handle, or so mean even though you are giving all of you to them in every way. Diane was the Caregiver for her Mom with Alzheimer's and she could really be a handful. She escaped from the house more then one time. One time she went missing from the Hollywood District in Portland Oregon, and was found a few hours later on Sauvies Island at the end of the bus line. She had no identification and was just wearing a night gown. Also it was very painful to Diane when her Mom would tell her she hated her and to leave her alone. Now Diane knew what was going on but, it's was really hard to hear that from someone you have sacrificed everything for and love so much. At the same time she was the caregiver for her Dad who was on Hospice for two and a half years.
I know some of you are taking care of people that are really belligerent, unruly, and so obnoxious even their Mom is having a hard time loving them sometimes. I don't have the answer but I do know that you have contracted the Disease just as deeply as your patient. You need to fight for your well being and sanity. It doesn't make sense for you to let yourself get to the place of being sick yourself. My children are always telling me I'm hard to help, I agree and so should you. We don't need to be martyrs for the cause.
A couple weeks ago I got to go to my High School Reunion, and Diane agreed that I should go alone. I have to admit that it was one of the most enjoyable times I have had in a long time. I really love my wife and always proud to be with her, but there was something about the freedom of being able to walk as fast I wanted, I only needed one plate at the buffet and didn't need to cut it up for her. As Toby Kieth sang " I wanna talk about me". We have to remember that the No.1 person we have to be responsible for is ourselves.
paul
"I want to be a Conqueror Not a Martyr"