I was thinking about earlier this morning when Diane and I were having breakfast. I really had to laugh when I went over the scenario of what seems normal lately. While I'm fixing breakfast, Diane's having a nice conversation with someone sitting in my chair. I understand she is a young lady and Diane is giving her some loving advice. I get involved by asking what the young lady looks like , and why is she here. I've never got a satisfactory answer yet. I ended up feeding her today , she was having a particular hard time getting the food in her mouth. When I'm putting food in her mouth, she is looking at her imaginary friend, lifting her eyebrows and laughing at me. She also sees another person, but she's a little afraid of him and will come get me to go and see what he's doing. I know this probably seems really weird to you but it's getting to be the norm around here. It seems the human being can adapt to most situations, but I believe it's imperative we always remember where we came from.
"TOUGH LOVE" Tough on who? Any time we become responsible for another living beings treatment there becomes a whole list of complicated decisions your going to be required to make. It starts when you become a first time mother or father. Circumcision What!!!!! They are going to cut what off of my little boy and it's up to me. Can you let the little child cry, even though you know they are fine and demanding your attention, because they know you will give in like you always do. It's really hard for this Grandpa to say no to my grand kids when they say it will make them so happy. You also have to decipher what's legitimate in all the new Child Care ideas. Are you really going to ruin your child for life if you swat his butt ? As they grow older they are sharpening their skills in negotiations, and if you always give in when they are young will you be able to say no later? ( and stick with it )
There are so many things that we can use for reference as the Care giving task get harder and more encompassing. We have had pets, children, employees and as a babysitter. One of the hardest decisions I have had to make up to this time is what to do when my dog ,Blondy, was coming to the end of her life. The hardest thing I'm facing now is life changing and ending decisions. I'm the spouse and sole decision maker for Diane. The most basic pressure is put on by the patient themselves, Because it is a disease that takes away the memory they don't remember what they said before. They can constantly demand something over and over and even though you know it won't help, it's easy to give in . When Diane's mom & dad lived with us she would constantly say she wanted to go home. Diane's dad finely gave in, even though he knew it was Alzheimer's that was the cause. He moved back to Portland hoping this would stop it, within a month he was asking if he could come back to our home.
There are decisions you are going to have to make all on your own starting with medications. All of the drugs for Alzheimer's are really expensive and really haven't proven to be much help. Partially from guilt and also from hope you want to keep her as long as possible. She was taking two drugs and I could barely keep up with the insurance Co-Pay ( fortunately we do have insurance ). While she was taking these drugs she has an episode where she couldn't walk, and was not coherent. We went to emergency and they determined that this was just another step in her disease. Shortly after this episode I found out they raised our Co-Pay on one of the drugs to around 300 dollars a month. After talking to Doctors they told me there is no proof that the drug does any good. My Doctor wouldn't recommend what to do, but said I couldn't make a wrong decisions. I decided to discontinue the drugs, this was a hard decision for me. What if she would have been better with the drug.
A while back Diane had some heart rhythm issues that concerned us, so we did some preliminary testing. They felt there might be some more serious problems with her heart. We decided to do what we could with medication and not to proceed with more testing. Anything more would require surgery and that is something we can't do because of her intolerance to anesthesia. A decision I have to make is how much effort needs to be exorcised to prolong life, even though it would subject her to the horrible indignities of this disease.
Another decision that is hard to make is what to do about the care she gets and when to release some of the responsibilities . One hard thing is she is always telling me is her fear of losing me, I do know as long as she knows me and our family we are going to be an intimate part of her life. I need to decide when she comes to the point of not knowing us and her care is completely determined on someone else, what is the next step.
For right now we are enjoying Diane's company and the love that she gives. It can be frustrating and hard to understand how she can seem so normal in some areas, and so far lost in others. She has almost lost her ability to do tasks and take directions. It also has taken a lot of her ability walk and to manage the dexterity of her fingers. She can't even figure out the switch on her power chair, but in other areas if she is in a relaxed atmosphere she makes a lot sense. One thing she is obsessed with is she doesn't want to die. paul
are you Tough enough for "Tough Love" ?
"TOUGH LOVE" Tough on who? Any time we become responsible for another living beings treatment there becomes a whole list of complicated decisions your going to be required to make. It starts when you become a first time mother or father. Circumcision What!!!!! They are going to cut what off of my little boy and it's up to me. Can you let the little child cry, even though you know they are fine and demanding your attention, because they know you will give in like you always do. It's really hard for this Grandpa to say no to my grand kids when they say it will make them so happy. You also have to decipher what's legitimate in all the new Child Care ideas. Are you really going to ruin your child for life if you swat his butt ? As they grow older they are sharpening their skills in negotiations, and if you always give in when they are young will you be able to say no later? ( and stick with it )
There are so many things that we can use for reference as the Care giving task get harder and more encompassing. We have had pets, children, employees and as a babysitter. One of the hardest decisions I have had to make up to this time is what to do when my dog ,Blondy, was coming to the end of her life. The hardest thing I'm facing now is life changing and ending decisions. I'm the spouse and sole decision maker for Diane. The most basic pressure is put on by the patient themselves, Because it is a disease that takes away the memory they don't remember what they said before. They can constantly demand something over and over and even though you know it won't help, it's easy to give in . When Diane's mom & dad lived with us she would constantly say she wanted to go home. Diane's dad finely gave in, even though he knew it was Alzheimer's that was the cause. He moved back to Portland hoping this would stop it, within a month he was asking if he could come back to our home.
There are decisions you are going to have to make all on your own starting with medications. All of the drugs for Alzheimer's are really expensive and really haven't proven to be much help. Partially from guilt and also from hope you want to keep her as long as possible. She was taking two drugs and I could barely keep up with the insurance Co-Pay ( fortunately we do have insurance ). While she was taking these drugs she has an episode where she couldn't walk, and was not coherent. We went to emergency and they determined that this was just another step in her disease. Shortly after this episode I found out they raised our Co-Pay on one of the drugs to around 300 dollars a month. After talking to Doctors they told me there is no proof that the drug does any good. My Doctor wouldn't recommend what to do, but said I couldn't make a wrong decisions. I decided to discontinue the drugs, this was a hard decision for me. What if she would have been better with the drug.
A while back Diane had some heart rhythm issues that concerned us, so we did some preliminary testing. They felt there might be some more serious problems with her heart. We decided to do what we could with medication and not to proceed with more testing. Anything more would require surgery and that is something we can't do because of her intolerance to anesthesia. A decision I have to make is how much effort needs to be exorcised to prolong life, even though it would subject her to the horrible indignities of this disease.
Another decision that is hard to make is what to do about the care she gets and when to release some of the responsibilities . One hard thing is she is always telling me is her fear of losing me, I do know as long as she knows me and our family we are going to be an intimate part of her life. I need to decide when she comes to the point of not knowing us and her care is completely determined on someone else, what is the next step.
For right now we are enjoying Diane's company and the love that she gives. It can be frustrating and hard to understand how she can seem so normal in some areas, and so far lost in others. She has almost lost her ability to do tasks and take directions. It also has taken a lot of her ability walk and to manage the dexterity of her fingers. She can't even figure out the switch on her power chair, but in other areas if she is in a relaxed atmosphere she makes a lot sense. One thing she is obsessed with is she doesn't want to die. paul
are you Tough enough for "Tough Love" ?