Vanity or Dignity ?
Our House was full of yelling , cussing " well kinda" and pounding of fists as we watched the Ducks get their Rears kicked. Ashlee "my daughter-in-law" and I had to put up with a really negative influence in the room , namely my son Tim. He has inherited some of the Pot Stirring agitation that his Dad and Grandpa were so proficient at administrating . He has some really lofty goals if he wants to model us. But, Why! It was a good time for me hanging with my family. Sorry about the Ducks.
After everybody had gone home, I went in an checked on Diane. Her room is open to the Family Room and Kitchen so we can kinda keep an eye on her and she can see and hear what we are doing. She slept through the Party and has been mostly sleeping for at least a week. I decided I would try and get her up for a little bit, and help her go to the bathroom. Even though she wouldn't open her eyes I sat her up and moved her onto the Commode hoping this would stimulate to her go. She slumped over and didn't seem to be waking. I was trying to support her while sitting in the Wheel Chair next to her. With out any warning she pitched forward onto me making my Chair scoot out from under me, and there we were on the floor with her laying across my legs.
Diane has lost so much weight and is such a little thing, but she is still a sleep and it became really difficult to figure away to get out from under her without hurting either one of us. I wasn't in a position to call for help so with a lot of effort and will power I was able to get out from under her and pick her up with out injuring either one of us. The worst part of this for me was the indignity I had put her through . She was not aware of what went on, but I took over the position of taking care of her and making sure that she receives the dignity she would want.
When we get to the point that we don't have control of our image or the way people perceive us, it's time for us to take seriously our responsibility of caring for those that we are responsible for. I don't know about you, but for me one of my fears in my dreams is being caught in a room full people with out any clothes on. Why can't they make a gown big enough to cover your Butt in the Dr. Office. My boy "Jacob" is a great help to me in keeping his dad from embarrassing himself, he points out your runny nose, pulls up your pants when they are hanging down to far and makes sure you know that there is a glop of pudding on your shirt. One of the meanest things you can do to a friend is not tell them there is a big chunk of spinach in their teeth.
Rape, Molestation, Slavery, Imprisonment , Drugs are perpetrated by ones who miss use their ability to control. When we be come a Caregiver , most of the time we become a person of Control to a certain degree. I have that position with Diane and it also comes with a huge responsibility of making sure she receives her needs including dignity. When she lost the ability to accept or reject touch from me her husband, I feel it would be inappropriate to touch her in any other way than what would be necessary . I also know it would be important to her that hair on her chin be removed. When I take a picture of her I try to put her in the best light possible.
paul
Diane doesn't complain when I hold her hand, loves to be kissed and the jury is out if she likes my singing .